It's okay to not be okay

Oh Monday mornings, 

It's the start of the week, the start of a new adventure from work, photoshoots, connecting with new humans and getting ready for events. 

Mondays to me are like a new fresh start. They could be emotional ones, they could be calm boring ones or even uplifting ones. I feel as if every Monday that comes around is a totally different start.

I gotta admit last week was a pretty rough week. I am not too sure how to explain it or how to even feel my feelings right now but writing a blog is going to allow me to get everything off my chest so that I can start this week with a fresh start. 

It's okay to not feel good sometimes. It's okay to feel randomly sad, and to feel a little out of place. We need to allow ourselves to accept the emotions that run through our bodies and to embrace them even if they are negative. As an artist and someone who struggles with anxiety it was really hard to learn to accept certain emotions. Every time I would get an anxiety attack I would feel even more miserable because I didn't accept the fact that it's okay to have down times. 

I thought I was just retarded and I kept putting in my head how I should be positive instead of negative and it made me even more sad! So I decided to simply accept my sadness and to feel it and to understand it before trying to force my body and mind to be more positive. 

From what I notice, is when I feel down, and sad I start over thinking. I think about my day, and what happened, why am I feeling so sad. And then I think about maybe something I did wrong that might of caused all these emotions. 

''Am I worth it?'' ''I feel like today no one really wanted to be with me.'' 

''Maybe I am feeling sad because I am not good enough?''

''I sucked at work today!''

And then I start over thinking about everything. Oh great, let the anxiety roll in now and make it even more intense! 

We have a tendency to create stories in our heads with the way our emotions lay out. Those stories become printed in our brains and then we start over thinking on those stories. 

Stories are just stories. They are not facts, or the truth in that matter. 

We need to just learn to take things day by day and to be okay with what is going on in our lives. It's okay to feel like shit sometimes for no reason. 

It's okay to feel sad sometimes without truly knowing why. What's important is to feel them and to accept the way we are feeling and then to find ways to improve our emotions so that we can feel better.

I need to learn to not over think and to create dumb stories on why I feel like shit sometimes. I just need to grab a tea , take 3 deep breaths and relax. 

I am an amazing little human, I am beautiful and I am authentic to who I am as a person. I am unique, and it's okay to be emotional at times. I need to understand that it is okay to feel sad sometimes.

Once we accept our emotions that's when we have the power to change them and to make them more positive. 

Alex